Book of Fate
by MagnaSonic3000
Summary: Haruhi has found a book in the libary. But what's in it?


Man...another day at school, and another day of orders being barked in my eardrum by a certain someone with god-like powers that doesn't even know what she's capable of. You can guess how dangerous that is. For me anyway. I just know that once that bell rings and it's time to start heading out, Haruhi is going to drag me into another ordeal I'm going to suffer through.

"Kyon! Didn't you hear me? Get your ass over here!"

Ah, right on cue. Haruhi has the beauty of a butterfly, and the calming voice of laughing hyenas. Maybe there's a way to turn her powers against her and make her a normal human being. Nah, it would never work.

Reluctantly, I got up from my chair and followed her into the hallway. As Haruhi barged into the room, causing Miss Asahina to cower at her sheer presence, she marched over to the head seat of the club room. Already I got an unpleasant sight of Koizumi and his glued on smile. Seriously, is there anything that guys not happy about? You could hand him a ticking time bomb, and he'd thank you for it. Nagato was reading a book. Big surprise.

Koizumi stared at me with a cheerful expression. "Greetings, I hope your day so far has been going smoothly?"

"Up until this point, I'm already regretting what Haruhi has in store."

"Yeah well, it's either please Suzumiya-san and keep the world at peace, or face the extinction of all existence."

"Gee, you sure know how to lighten the mood."

"I do my best."

That last comment sounded almost like he was mocking me. Was he being sarcastic? I don't know, but I didn't like it. I quickly gazed over at our leader as she folded her arms, with an irritated face, possibly due to the fact Koizumi was taking precious time I was supposed to be listening to her away. Hey, it's not my fault he flaps his jaws all the time.

Haruhi soon straightened up, going back to her eager smile. "Now then, I would like to say that during my trips to the mystery section in the libary, I caught my eye on a strange book. Titled, 'The History of Mankind.'"

Suddenly, Miss Asahina didn't look so well. I wasn't quite sure why, but she almost looked like she didn't like the book Haruhi had. That, or there's something in there she's not supposed to see.

"Um, ex-excuse me but, I'm not sure we should be reading that-"

"Pipe down! Your job is to look pretty and attract more members, not speak."

Already Haruhi's cold nature was ruining my day. But something bugged me about Mikuru's reaction to the book. Something's up, and I wanna know what. Problem now, is how to get the book away from Haruhi. I needed a plan.

"Now then, let's see what we can learn. Hey, look at this! The discovery of aliens is in this!"

That was enough to catch Nagato's attention. Unfortunately, she couldn't do anything about it without pissing off miss sunshine. Something was telling me that was no normal book. I was even seeing an odd reaction in Koizumi's face. If that's enough to get him to frown, than God knows it's bad. Oh wait, I'm speaking ironically, because God is apparently the one reading the book.

"What! Espers? Really! I KNEW they existed! I have to record some of this. Wait here, I'll be back!"

As Haruhi ran out to find some paper and something to write with, which was kind of stupid since our club was in the literature club room, she didn't seem to take the book with her. Now was my chance. I rushed up to the book and swept it up in my hand. I opened it up, alarmed at how much info it had. It even had info of every person in Japan. Hey wait, I don't remember having another sibling. Oh wait...there's a different year on this. HUH! Why on Earth is Haruhi on this list! Am I being punked? I get it, this is one of Koizumi's sick jokes, its no wonder he's always smiling. Speaking of which...

"Ah, I see you found your future tree."

"What do you mean- Gah too close! Ahem... What do you mean my future tree?"

Koizumi only pointed at what was under my and Haruhi's name. My eyes shrunk.

"MISS ASAHINA!"

At that point, her expression seemed to turn into one who had just seen a ghost. Nagato looked as if I wasn't supposed to see that, though you couldn't really tell. Koizumi only kept his same smile.

"Well, looks like you've learned where your future is going with Suzumiya-san."

"You knew!"

"We all did, in fact one of Miss Asahina's superiors is the one who wrote the book based on collected data stored for generations."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Mikuru only twiddled her fingers. "It was classified information."

Oh great, now I know why the future Asahina said not to get close to my time's Miss Asahina because...EW! I was turned on by my own daughter! EW EW EW, now I feel sick to my stomach.

Shortly after, our almighty ruler, and my future wife apparently, hit the door like a bull, slamming it against the wall. "I'm back! Now then, who's ready to learn some secrets? Huh? What's wrong with your face Kyon? You look dumber than usual."

Why? Why why why? What cruel deed have I done to be cursed like this? Yes she's easy on the eyes I mean...look at those legs. And those curves. And those, perky breasts and, beautiful sparkling eyes and tender lips...bu-but the point is, she's a jerk to everyone she comes across. How did I end up with her? Am I required to be with her to keep the world from being destroyed? I do don't I? God help me. Oh wait, she's my God, dammit! I turned to Koizumi, in hopes he had some form of hints to make my life easier.

"Well, you could speed up the relationship so you two can settle down without too much hassle."

"You're not suggesting I feel her up or something are you?"

"Maybe."

End :3


End file.
